The Road

Paraphrased from dmot@CMN:

A consensus leader basically takes a poll and what ever comes out on top is what they go with. It’s not really leadership. True leaders discern where the group needs to go and gets the group to go there. The vision they cast sounds good but it isn’t really clearly defined because no one has been there yet. But when they get there they like it because the discernment was on target.

If leading is difficult, where’s managing on the ladder?

Cx

There is a time for everything.

People have struggled with questions of right, wrong, left, and morality for years, and I don’t intend to come up with some new combination of ideas. But, someone brought this up recently, and I was in a mess trying to respond. I had an answer, but it was difficult to convey, when I act to the contrary.

Who are we to judge? If we conclude that we are qualified to judge, we must judge ourselves too – and then we will find that we are nobody to judge.

If we follow strictly these ideas, life becomes next to impossible impossible to live within these tight, tight restrictions – therefore this must morph into merely an ideal. Yes, merely.

Surely that is not good enough.

Big problem, aye? Much has been and will be said, and I have not really added much to it.

Clink

All that glitters is not black or aluminium.

Blazing

I love you, Apple. This is way better than Starhub and that Velocity thing..

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My mind goes back to a certain evening this week, when I borrowed a guitar, daoed everybody and the movie they were watching, and decided to teach myself to tune it.

That was a very interesting hour, tuning it, tuning it again from the highest string, then adjusting it all over again.. since I’m a perfectionist I didn’t consider it done when we went off for supper. Should have got someone with keen ears to tell me how close I was.

Fun.

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Have some people stopped blogging? It’s weird when blogs don’t just die, they disappear.

Purple

Two quotes from the SAGE archives:

We’re all using vaguely defined categories in these conversations, and I think you’ve hit on an important distinction. A sysadmin who “can’t program at all” is the type who, when asked to change the password expiration time for all users in the LDAP database, will happily click on all 12,492 user objects and type in the password expiration time[1]. A sysadmin who can program — even a little — will say “hey now, I’m not doing that manually!” and start looking for resources she can use to automate the process.

Management in a company universally tends to ignore the advice of in-house staff who actually know what they’re talking about. They tend to only listen to high priced outside consultants who get brought in to write puffed up analyses of things that the in-house guys already knew full well. When you understand that this is the way things work, it presents an opportunity for effecting change – by collaborating with some folks at other enterprises, you can e.g. put together a whitepaper analysing the issues and solutions you’ve encountered, and then folks at other companies can point to it as leverage to get their management to actually see the light.

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It’s Friday and time to take stock of this break. I’ve found a very interesting fiction series, a ‘web design collection’ (compilation?) book that I actually rather like, scraped paint from a ceiling (hint: a wide-brimmed paper hat is useful), went for a camp. I don’t think those 1.5/2 days were wasted though; they were certainly more useful and productive on some fronts than those two days would have been spent at home.

On a more practical note, I haven’t done any of my holiday homework.. sounds like a all-or-nothing extended lunge for the goal. Then I shall fit in some creative pursuits (read: paint) to go with that.

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My mind is still sitting in this hazy mist that comes after something significant hits me in the face. Splat.

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*conjures a teddy be.. oh wait, that’s a mouse. Oops.

Comfort

Wikipedia on Teddy bear:

The teddy bear is a stuffed toy bear. It is an enduring, traditional form of stuffed animal, often serving the purpose of comforting children.

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Strange that carding has nearly nothing to do with cards.

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I just realised I’ve been blogging here for more than two years. I don’t think I blogged much earlier (on Blogger, I think) in time, except this blog’s predecessor on a certain fhost.

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The past two days have been quite interesting.. but could have been much more had I not tried to mix some other pressing issues into the same time. Oh, woe. I’ve definitely taken something away from the little that I was around to catch; I’ve yet to gather my thoughts about that, much less other things, but I definitely will sort that out. I need sleep.

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When you put memories into a pensieve, are they removed from your mind or is it merely a copy or representation of it? Is it just a tool to ‘experience’ memories or is it a tool to organize and clear up your fragmented mind?

RelRest

I am tired after attempting (and failing horribly) to rush a 3 evening job in 2 evenings, because some information simply wasn’t available as expected. Then I was too exhausted after the first 6-hour evening to do that again on the second night, so suddenly the time available is halved. Eventually I missed my original deadline by 12 hours. To top it all off I spent another 4-6 hours touching up and working on the post-processing code. So, in effect, this slipped by nearly 20 hours, counting sleep and life. Ugh.

I’m typing this and half-expecting to see a matching quote materialise..

–

The term ended aptly with an hour’s free period.

On the subject of results, someone pointed out to me that if I had taken the effort to sweep the 20 minimum-effort marks (which all the other lazy people in class did) in the Chinese paper, I’d be at the other end of the class. That’s food for thought.

Lit is the only subject I think I can’t get better at, it doesn’t feel like a matter of throwing effort and time at it, unlike Physics/Chinese/[A|C] Math. I don’t have even the faintest idea how to begin fixing that.. and that’s weighing me down.

I need to adjust my targets for mid-years.

Thear

The number of active projects I’m working on just doubled from 2 to 4. I don’t dare to count the number I’m ‘involved’ in.

*runs around room*

There are too many things to think about. I need to sit down and tweak my worry threshold, I think I am keeping fingers in too many pies and trying too hard to be what I am not.

The power of dreams.

Edit: That reminds me. I was asking for a ‘proper’ Chapel on Monday morning, expected something brief because of the event, and got something very unexpected. Hmm.

Networks

I get faster (>200KB/sec) speeds from a Japan mirror than from our local F/OSS mirror, oss.eznetsols.org. What gives?

Roadsign

Much needs to be said. I will inconvenience fewer electrons and not split this into several posts. A collection of jumbled thoughts.
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“They’re probably calling the weather centre now to demand they stop the rain..”

I never really understood the spirit inside a UYO – that their dedication and fortitude can stretch to such lengths, to stand there motionless as taught, drilled and rehearsed, no matter what comes. Then they don’t complain about it afterwards.

I cannot do that. You have earned my respect.
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Over the course of last week, a strange series of events occurred.. and led me to a meeting of some very interesting and fun people yesterday.

After thinking about it, it seems that these events always converge as a choice, versus directly being pointed somewhere. I could have gone to see someone else and spent the afternoon doing something very usual, but for once, I listened to that little voice that tells me to step out.

I don’t think that was a mistake. I hope it wasn’t.
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There was this thought about Friends Forever some time ago.

I just watched Byousoku 5 Centimeter a few days ago, if you haven’t already watched it, try and watch it. It’s literally one of the few movies that touch me somehow.. Spirited Away ranks up there, just for comparison’s sake. Your hour spent watching it will not be wasted.

The soundtrack is indescribably fitting, or it’s just me.
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Money is a touchy thing. I’ve started wondering what I save up for. There aren’t actually that many things that I need per se.. things that aren’t luxuries. Is it to share things with people? To add that little bit of happiness to someone’s day?

Maybe lots of people go through this phase. I remember some friends I know being not so tight-fisted after a while. Is this realising that you have enough for yourself, and you now have enough to give and share with others?

Obviously not everyone who’s comfortably off is like that. I’m lucky to know a bunch of people who are.
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That 20th anniversary publication is awful. I absolutely cannot believe they managed to mangle the subject groups diagram even more, for one. It doesn’t help that the whole thing feels like a Sec 2-produced publication, with excessive usage of Photoshop filters and the Zapfino typeface.

The first-day covers could be (slightly) better but it’s really nice as it is.
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In a time when we give thanks and highlight the achievements of many, the distinction between the three main areas of achievement – scholastic, officerly, and everything else. There is a distinct hierarchy, but there are people who excel in all three areas. People who’ve got all ten fingers in different pies.

When other people’s achievements are being thrust in your face, it’s difficult not to take a long hard look around at your peers – and realise that there are many places I cannot go, heights I cannot reach.. the vast realm of possibility that I will not be venturing into. It makes me feel small.

The constant wear and tear of failure can be resisted if there’s something else that can be sacrificed, or if there is a sufficiently strong will. Where will I find the strength to carry on? I have already forgotten what ‘talent’ means.

Perhaps I am being blunted by surrounding myself with people who are better than me. But isn’t that what you should do? Acknowledging that you can’t be the best in everything, and instead choosing to (micro-)specialise?